Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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