Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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