why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
