so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
