I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
