hotel room ftw
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
