I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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