NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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