I got chris browned last night
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just cropdusted the office
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
