and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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