why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
even my farts smell like vagina
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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