I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
