someone get that fucking seahorse.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
