Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have aggressive nipples.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
