Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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