Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
