Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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