Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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