is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
