I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
