Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
