Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
