thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
