we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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