Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
