He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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