If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
