She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
