your thong is hanging out like whoa
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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