why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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