real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
