If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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