There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
