Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
