Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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