But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
