You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
