Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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