Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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