He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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