we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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