i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
