I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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