Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
