Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
