if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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