My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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