You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
