I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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