Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
